When I arrived in London for my semester abroad, the study-away program organized a talk with a local policeman to explain the UK’s basic laws and offer tips to stay safe. He asked the group, “What is the safest kind of bag to carry?” and an enthusiastic girl in the front offered “A fanny pack?”
His reaction was not what we expected – he collapsed on the floor, laughing hysterically. The words ‘fanny pack’ had reduced a very serious London cop to a mess of tearful giggles. It turns out that in England the word ‘fanny’ is the equivalent to the derogatory four-letter word for the va-jay-jay. So why in the world would you want to wear a va-jay-jay pack around your waist? Uhh…. ok that just sounds wrong.
Designers may try to dress it up, but even a skinny supermodel looks ridiculous with a fanny pack around her waist. There are so many other, better options out there that there is no reason to add another ten pounds to your hips and be the butt of jokes during your travels. So, what’s the solution? The fabulous Longchamp tote. I saw so many of these at the airports during my recent European jaunt, so they’re not exactly unique. They’re not trendy either – they’re just incredibly practical. The tote has a nylon exterior, zip top, sturdy leather handle and ability to fold into itself – so it’s small when you need to stow it in your luggage for the journey to your destination, and large when you need to carry home souvenirs.
I spent quite a while looking for a Longchamp tote at a good price (the one above retails for $135 at Saks). When Mr. TravelSpark had some spare wampum points for Foxwoods and couldn’t find any golf gear he wanted, he donated them to my handbag cause and I came home with a Bric’s X-Bag:
It’s waterproof, has a smaller bag inside it that snaps into the large bag to act as an inner pocket, and is so deep that it would make Mary Poppins proud.
So hunt around for a cute, functional bag. Unless you’re riding a bike, walking in an a-thon, or climbing a mountain, you have absolutely no business wearing a fanny pack!
I am very anit-fanny pack!!! Yuck!
But if you must carry items you want to keep safe, especially in countries that known for pickpockets, then get one of the belt packs. They look kind of like a flat fanny pack but are worn UNDER your clothes and are great for storing flat valuables. Yet unlike the unattractive fanny pack the belt pack doesn’t ruin any outfit because it goes UNDER your clothes.
I repeated the under because I once knew someone who tried to wear a belt pack like a fanny pack, ugh!
Ugh, I saw a fanny pack on a young girl yesterday when shopping for pants and wanted to shake the poor girl and say “Fanny packs should not be brought back, like polyester three piece suits for women, they had their time and should be permanently retired”