Oscar Night’s Hits and Misses

This year’s Academy Awards were a little hit-or-miss for me. Hit: Neil Patrick Harris’s old Vegas-style opener. Miss: Alec and Steve’s lame-o jokes about each and every best actor/actress nominee. Snooze.

The red carpet was a hit, in my opinion. That’s not to say that everyone sported something great (hardly), but I loved variety of color that paraded into the theater.

I had a pen and paper on my lap to jot down my initial thoughts about the red carpet fashions, and it’s good I had something to distract myself from Kathy Ireland’s wild arm-flailing and painfully awkward interviews. It was fun reading the blogs yesterday to see others’ thoughts, and quite interesting to note that my opinions are, in some cases, quite different from others.

The Hits:

Okay, Sandra did look a little stiff and the neon lipstick was a definite miss, but I still loved this streamlined, shimmery gown.

There was a lot of blue at this year’s Oscars, but Maggie’s Dries Van Noten column gown stood out from the pack because of its unique print. Good for her for taking a risk and pulling it off beautifully.

Helen Mirren is such a stunning woman, and I hope to God I look this good when I’m eligible for AARP membership. Her gown proves that it’s possible to show off a rockin’ body while still being age-appropriate.

There were several Disney-inspired princess gowns this year, but if I was a princess this is the gown that I would choose: simple silhouette, sparkling details. No silly trains like little miss Mama Mia.

Sigourney’s gown is yet another example of age-appropriate hotness, and I love the contrasting belt.

Kristen Stewart mumbled her way through presenting a montage of horror flicks, much like she mumbles her way through the “Twilight” movies. But I have to give her and her stylist props for this stunning gown. If I start mangling the English language, will Robert Pattinson want to date me?

The Misses:

I’m pretty sure that I had a Barbie doll in the 1980′s that came with a dress just like this one. Ick.

I definitely disagree with other bloggers on Miley’s number, because it goes back to age-appropriateness. Call me prudish, but that Madonna-esque bodice is too grown up for a sixteen year-old. Plus, the girl needs better posture. Well. I officially sound like my grandma!

Speaking of Madonna-esque bodices…

Charlize is a stunning woman, with a drop-dead gorgeous figure. Couldn’t she figure out a way to highlight her boobs with something other than a fabric version of Princess Leia’s hairdo?

Don’t get me wrong: Rachel McAdams’s Elie Saab gown is gorgeous. The issue is that it doesn’t complement her skin at all. In fact, when she walked on stage with the dapper Jake Gyllenhaal, I thought she looked ill. The muted tones completely washed her out and gave her skin a gray pallor. Perhaps better make-up would have helped.

This Marchesa gown is just so hideous, and looks so uncomfortable. Way to take a trend too far, Vera.

If the Givenchy team had made an entire dress out of the pretty bodice instead of attaching crepe paper flowers from a parade float, this may have worked out well for Zoe. The clunky shoes don’t help either, but the shoes are the least of the problems.

The Double-Take:

I left this pic of Tina Fey larger than the rest to see if you see what I see. What do I see? London, France, and Tina’s underpants. Look below her right hand, and you can spot the outline of black panties. When I saw her on TV, Tina went into the “hot” column on my piece of paper; but when I saw the still photos, she promptly came right off. It’s a shame, because the shape of the gown is so great for her.

What did you think of the awards? Did your favorite films get the honors you thought they deserved? Who was hot, and who was not?

All photos from Yahoo.