Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

Ok, I know exactly where you are. You’ve been in my belly for 39 weeks. I’m getting pretty tired of you being in there. Granted, you have been pretty good to your mommy. You haven’t made me sick, you’ve kept my skin (mostly) clear, you’ve sucked those extra 30-ish pounds and stuck them right on my front. You’ve been a very good boy for not giving me a big ole butt during your stay. And your daddy thinks that you haven’t made me much crazier than I was the day he married me. So that’s good.

But I’m tired of tossing and turning from constant aches and pains at night. I’m sick of obsessively examining my stomach for signs of stretch marks. I would quite like to have my belly-button back, because right now it’s as flat as a pancake. Every time I eat something, food and/or drink inevitably lands on my shirt, when it would normally land on the floor. And my ankles…oh, my ankles! Especially my left one. Little boy, your mommy’s left ankle looks like it belongs to an elephant and not a lady. I can only wear three pairs of shoes – all flip-flops. You will come to learn that Mommy loves shoes, so this part has been especially tough. The only thing getting me through these last few weeks has been the promise of seeing you very soon.

Your lease is about to run out, so start packing your bags! Don’t take this the wrong way; it’s not that I don’t like having you in my belly. I’ve actually grown to love feeling you move all around. Except when you shove your little butt right into my ribs. That hurts. Most of the time, though, I love it because each and every wiggle since week 16 has let me know that you are alive and well in there. When you hiccup I rub and pat my belly as though that may somehow help you! Maybe it does. Maybe you already know how much I love you.

When I thought you had flipped yourself around with all your acrobatics, I was worried. So the doctor ordered an extra ultrasound. You were right where you should be, and a little sleepy after holding your own dance party just a few minutes before. You blinked your eyes and I stared at the screen in amazement. What are you seeing in there, little man? You have chubby cheeks just like your grandpa and I have, and you’ve got hair on your head. You even kicked the ultrasound wand just to prove you were paying attention.

I did not think it possible, but somehow I love you even more after seeing your little face. I was so happy for the rest of the day! Daddy and I can’t wait to meet you. That’s why I want you to come out when your lease is up in one week (and if you wanted to come out a few days earlier, say on Saturday, that would be cool). I want to kiss your chubby cheeks and tickle those tiny feet that have been dancing all around my belly. I want to introduce you to your family and your furry big brother who loves to sleep on the rug in your room all day long. Don’t be upset if he’s nervous to meet you or a little jealous. I know you’ll be great friends as long as you don’t pull his tail too hard.

So please come out. More importantly, come out safely. I know your entry into this world is not going to be pretty. In fact, it will be pretty gross, and it’s going to hurt your mommy a lot. But you have to come out, there’s no way around it. Just come out safely, with all your parts working properly. That first wail that you let out will be music to my ears. All of the subsequent wails…well, perhaps not so much.

Your daddy and I have absolutely no idea what we are going to do with you when you arrive, so you will have to be patient with us. We won’t be perfect, but we’ll try really hard. We already love you so much!

Love,

Mommy (and Daddy – I’m sure he agrees with me on all points but is much too manly to admit it)